Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in El Tilde's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 4th, 2005
2:38 pm	last livejournal post I've started keeping a blog again, but I'm gonna do it on myspace. I know livejournal is a much better blogging agent and all that, but the fact of the matter is, more people look at myspace, and they do it more often than they do here. Sooooooo, if you want to read it, go here! http://www.myspace.com/youaredj (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005
12:42 am	G'day You know, I've been all around this great big world of ours, and if there's one thing that's the same everywhere, it's old guys wearing their pants belted at their nipples. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 6th, 2004
1:51 am	Birthday Just so everybody knows, I'm turning 25 on Friday. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
2:18 am	GHOST STORY The other day, Tashi and I were in Walgreens. The automatic door opened, but when we looked over to see who had come into the store .... THERE WAS NOBODY THERE WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 20th, 2004
10:28 pm	it's like homeless people are urinating on my tongue Don't drink Diet Pepsi with lime. Trust me. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 13th, 2004
11:01 pm	stolen from Katie NUMBER OF...: 1: piercings? two in my left, one in my right, one in my tongue, but I only have one in my left in right now 2: tattoos? none 3: height? 5'11" 4: shoe size? 13 5: hair color? reddish brown 6: siblings? 3 little brothers, 3 older stepsisters FAVORITE...: 1: food? burritos 2: thing to do? hot chicks 3: thing to talk about? baseball 4: sports? baseball 5: drinks? white russians, corona 6: clothes?: black hooded sweatshirts, ugly striped polo shirts 7: movies?: the big lebowski, o brother where art thou 8: holiday? 4th of July, Halloween HAVE YOU... 1: ever cried over a girl? yeah, but not in a while 2: ever cried over a boy? no 3: ever lied to someone? constantly! 4: ever been in a fist fight? not really 5: ever been arrested? nope NUMBER...: 1: of times I have been in love? twice 2: of times I have had my heart broken? once 3: of hearts I have broken? ehh...maybe 2 or 3? i dunno really, I didn't ask for a receipt or anything 4: of girls I have kissed? somewhere between 6 and 10 5: of boys I have kissed? I LOST COUNT AGES AGO 6: of girls I've slept with? 2 7: of boys I've slept with? SEE ABOVE 8: of drugs taken illegally? reefer, shrooms, opium, adderall, a few other random crap (nothing too fucked up!) 9: of friends I would classify as true, could trust with my life with type friend? none. i am a lone wolf. chicks dig it. 10: of people I consider my enemies? somewhere in the low 6-billions 11: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? 3 or 4 12: of scars on my body? the cool one on my left bicep and one right above my crotch from a hernia operation 13: of things in my past that I regret? none, really, nothing I didn't eventually resolve or some to terms with anyway DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...: 1: pretty? like a girl 2: funny? Yes 3: hot? yes 4: friendly? yes 5: amusing? yes 6: ugly? no 7: caring? Yes 8: sweet? yes 9: dorky? yes DESCRIBE YOUR.. 1: Wallet? it's black, leather, and utterly mundane in every way. trifold, says "fossil" on it 2: Hairbrush? I don't brush my hair. i go with the unkempt, just-woke-up look. chicks dig it. 3: Toothbrush? i have two. the one i have had longer is green and bends when you press the middle. 4: Jewelry worn daily? just the little silver earring. it's a hoop and has a gnarly little design on it. sometimes i wear this blue and white beaded necklace. 5: Pillow cover? dark blue 6: Blanket? it's kind of red and yellow and green and blue plaid, and smells pretty bad and needs to be washed, hence. 7: Sunglasses? i lost mine 8: Underwear? it is yellow with penguins on it 9: CD in stereo right now? I dont have CD's they all got stolen, but there is a windows cd in my cd rom. 10: Tattoos? none, yet 11: Piercings? scroll up 12: What you are wearing now? gray shirt, black and red mesh shorts, blue and yellow vans with orange shoelaces 13: In my mouth? horse cock? 15: Wishing? that i can finish my homework before Aquateen comes on 16: After this? SEALAB or AQUATEEN 17: Person you wish you could see right now? tashi 18: Is next to you right now? a whole lot of crap on my desk 19: Your Mood?: full 20: The last thing you ate?: subway 21: Something that you are deathly afraid of? fish 22: Do you like candles? occasionally they're cool 23: Do you like the taste of blood? yeah you know what, i kinda do! 24: Do you believe in love? yeop! 25: Do you believe in soul mates? sort of...I think that you can definitely meet someone who is absolutely perfect for you in every way and just utterly complements you. I think it's pretty fanciful that there is only one such person in the world. Mostly I think it is some crap that boys shovel on girls so they will blow them. 26: Do you believe in Heaven? in some respects 27: Do you believe in God? in some sense or another 28: What do you want done with your body when you die? I wanna be freeze-dried like Ted Williams 29: If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? I've always wanted a monkey. In a sombrero. 30: What color are the walls in your room?: that generic off-white 31: Can you eat with chopsticks? Yeah, but why? Forks are better 32: What's your favorite coin? Sacajawea, dumbass 33: What are some of your favorite candies? peach rings, heath bar 34: What's something that you wish people would understand? IT'S NOT A WART, IT'S A BOIL 35: What's something you wish you could understand better? whatever it is I am studying at the moment so I Can get really good grades and get into a really good phd program so I Can get a really good job so I Can have lots of time off to take my family traveling! 36: What is something that you really wish was still around? Tom Green show LAST PERSON WHO....: 1: Slept in your bed? Tasho 2: Saw you cry? hmm...probably Lindsey 3: Made you cry? nobody really 4: Spent the night at your house? Marc 5: You shared a drink with? Tashi 6: You went to the movies with? Sam and Ricky 7: You went to the mall with? pfff 8: Yelled at you? my mom (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 12th, 2004
3:35 pm	hurrah for questionnaires! Full Name: Daniel Jefferson Simons Birthday: December 10, 1979 Place Born: UNC Hospital, Chapel Hill, NC Current Residence: Long Beach, CA Parent(s): Mom and Dad Siblings and ages: Sam, 4, Joey, 20, Marc, 23 What Do You Look Like: I keep hearing Danny Masterson Favorite Animal: Dogs and lizards What's Your Favorite tv show: Simpsons Favorite Actor/Actress: Samuel L. Jackson Favorite Movies: Office Space, Big Lebowski, O Brother where art thou? ALL TIME favorite movie: Lebowski School: Ohio State State University (BA, 2002) Long Beach State (Master's IP) Future School: UCLA maybe...Harvard? Future Job: wallet inspector Boyfriend/Girlfriend: an awesome one named Tashi Best Buds: Bud Bundy, Bud Light, Bud Cort, Buddy Hackett Favorite Candy: Peach rings Hobbies: laziness, decadence, sports, music Things You Collect: scars Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: cel Favorite thing on/in you: on me: my eyes. in me: the evil monkey living in my rectum Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex: Lips and eyes Are you a dork?: well...yeah... Piercing(s) And Where: 2 in left ear, one in right, one in tongue, none are in What Do You Sleep in: depends on how fucking hot it is What Do You Think of Chain Letters: They are festering hemorrhoidal boils on the hairy, sweaty buttock that is society Words and Phrases You Over Use: uhh...what were we talking about? Who Was Your First Love: my mom Did He/She Love You?: yeah, except for that time she didn't buy me Optimus Prime for Channukkah. Fuck you, mom! Non-Sport Activity You Enjoy: bass guitar Dream Car: Canary yellow 1974 Ford Pinto Scariest Thing You've Ever Done: ate at Arby's Where Do You Shop?: the hardware store, the gas station, the bodega on the corner, target, office max, the grocery store... Coke or Pepsi: pepsi Favorite Thing To Wear?: hoodies, although living in LA I don't really get to wear them much anymore :( Favorite Food: tacos Favorite Color: dark blue Favorite Song: anything by Styx Favorite People To Talk To Online: You mean the internet can be used to FOSTER human interaction??? Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper: Root Beer Favorite Cheese: BIG Cheese Favorite Drink: White Russian Republican or Democrat: I really hate both of them. I'm going with Smurf. What is the most annoying trait a person can have?: always saying they are fat and they're really not. It's just like, shut up. Favorite Vacation Spot: new zealand Favorite Place to Play Frisbee: the zoo Favorite Family Member: my brothers, equally. Except Sammy gets points for being so damn cute!!! Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were A Kid: pfff!! Anyone who says they remember eating paint chips, obviously did not eat paint chips. Favorite CD you own: they all got FOCKING STOLEN Person you hate: you When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned: ugh...I Want to be freeze-dried like Ted Williams Do You Believe In Aliens?: yes, there are some working at the car wash (rim shot!) If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something What Would You Do?: I Want to be one of those relief pitchers who is left-handed, and comes in to face the one left handed hitter, then leaves. Things You Obsess Over: smells Favorite Day of the Week: Humpday A Teacher You Hate: my Calc prof at GW Was annoying. He was Canadian, spoke in such a deep voice you couldn't hear him, and said actually "duh" frequently Favorite Disney Movie: Aladdin What is Your Favorite Season?: Summer What Toppings Do You Like On Your Pizza?: mushrooms Do You Like Your School Food: haha, don't have to eat it anymore If You Could Live Anywhere: Cleveland Heights Favorite Thing To Do On Weekends: sleep in, go to the park/beach, watch tv, party Favorite Thing To Get Clean: i love washing my windows while my car is filling up at the gas station. Favorite Magazine: I can't read Favorite Flower: venus fly trap Favorite Number(s): seven Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): anything chewy Who Did You First Kiss?: a wax figure of Whoopi Goldberg at Madame Tussaud's Niagara Falls What's Your Most Embarrassing Moment?: Spending a night in a Fort Erie, ON prison for defiling an inanimate object If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It Be?: I wouldn't have so damn much savoir-faire! Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush Your Teeth Before You Eat?: both, but I'm an obsessive compulsive germophobe. Favorite Fictional Character: The Pope (rim shot #2!!!) Favorite Time of Day: about 3 in the afternoon in summer Can a Guy/girl be just good friends: if the guy is gay or they're both butt-ugly Do You Ask the Girl/Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: depends, usually ask though Do You Mind Paying For a Date?: No What's Most Important In Someone's Personality?: a sense of humor Do you have a pager or cell phone?: cel Who's More Important, Family or Friends?: family What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received?: pie Name a person that really gets on your nerves: carson daly How do you eat your Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?: I shove them in my fucking mouth and emulsify them until they are gone How long did it take for you to realize that Matt Tyler is the biggest stud in the world?: What the fuck are you talking about? Are you a righty or a lefty or ambidextrous?: righty, for MOST tasks... What's your favorite flavor Snapple: they still make that shit? Favorite board game: throw darts at the donkey What is your favorite holiday: boxing day What is your least favorite holiday: throw spears at the tubby redheaded jew day Favorite shampoo or conditioner: the cheap shit at the Circle K Persons who knows the most about you: the evil monkey living in my rectum Loudest person I know: that guy with the bullhorn who hangs out behind the dumpster at the Circle K Who do you like?: I hate people If you could go out with anyone in the world, who?: TC :) Who was your first crush?: some girl in preschool, until she tried to stab me with those green plastic scissors. Then, it was true love. What do you remember most about this last year: today Memory (thing) you miss the most: remembering where I left my keys What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?: OK WHO FARTED why am I on this wall? why won't my arms move? where's buttercup?: I'm too busy "besting your Spaniard" to answer that shit, roberts Does it make you sad to know you can never go back in time?: no, for I CAN!!!!! If you could go back in time, would you?: yeah, I'd go back and kick Mr. Rogers' ass. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: probably still struggling in furthering my education. Future son's name?: Li'l DJ Future Daughter's name?: BeBe Where do you plan on building your Dream Home?: eh wherever the wind blows me. Describe your dream wedding: mesh shorts and a wife beater Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: yes, until the tranquilizer wore off and he mauled me within an inch of my life. Man, that was one pissed-off gerbil. If you could dye your hair one color: black What's on your walls in your room?: not much, I am too poor to buy wall adornments What type of deodorant do you use?: stank-be-gone Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: fingers? What's under you're bed?: nothing, I have a box spring. But under that I hide the bodies. Have you ever been convicted of a crime?: no Are you a health freak?: not What's on your mouse pad?: a mouse How many rings before you answer the phone?: why is this stupid question on every questionnaire I have evr seen? Have you ever been attacked by a big dog?: no, but I've attacked my fair share. Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?: hell no Which do you prefer, mud wrestling or Jello?: mud, it's fun! (and nutritious!) Would you rather give or receive?: receive How many homes have you lived in?: christ...counting dorm rooms, damn near 15 Do you play any instruments?: guitar, bass guitar, harmonica, didgeridoo, piano...all pitifully, I might add Do you get along with your parents?: yes What's your bedtime?: whenever I the tranquilizer darts kick in Thunderstorms-scary or cool?: scary, yet sexy Roller Coasters-cool or scary?: scary, yet sexy Do you like to drive?: yes, especially when I'm going someplace sexy What's the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery?: select ten random people out of the phone book and give them each $100,000. Haha! gotcha. Just kidding, I'd spend it on crack. Chocolate or Vanilla cake?: chocolate Favorite Commercial: The one where the two hot chicks are making out Favorite Cereal: anything with a vampire on the box Something you'd like to try?: proper hygiene Place you'd visit again and again: unemployment office Your next road trip: phoenix or boulder, co Thing you couldn't live without: an environment abundant with oxygen Celebrity you want to kiss: Dr. Phil Boxers or Briefs: Boxers Favorite bra: hey, I'm very sensitive about my weight Croutons or Bacon Bits: bacon bits, because they're crunchier (ha!) Where do you most want to have sex: in the ass How many times a day do you brush your teeth: .75 Have you ever gone skinny dipping: yes Would you rather live in a log cabin or downtown?: downtown Pets: Victor and Marty, lizards extraordinaire What bones have you broken: pinkie, clavicle Stitches?: left arm, hernie operation Have you ever laughed so hard you peed your pants?: no, just shit myself a couple times Favorite perfume/cologne: bitch come runnin' How many foreign countries have you been to? 10 or so, Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, Switzerland, Germany, Holland, France, Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, England, Czech Republic...whatever that is Favorite websites: porn What is great about college: ice cream for breakfast Will you wait until marriage: wait, like, for what? Pirates? If it could rain something other than rain for a day, what would you like it to be?: hot chicks What's your favorite fabric?: bare, sweaty ass Who is your favorite SNL member?: Will Ferrell Do you believe in ghosts?: yep Zodiac Sign: bullshit Favorite sesame street character: Popeye Muppet?: Gordon Do you love to dance?: not really Can you usually win a staring contest?: always Do you make fun of people: mercilessly (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 2nd, 2004
6:35 pm	dude...what if there was ,like, a ninja...monkey...wizard!!!????!?!?!?! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
11:53 pm	Cleveland I just got back from a fun extended weekend in Cleveland. If you are reading this and are willing to take the time to show me how, I have plenty of good pictures to put up. Until then you will just have to imagine me stoned and pissing into a river. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 2nd, 2004
12:31 pm	Woot Woot Today I get to GO TO THE DMV TO REPLACE MY REGISTRATION AND GET MY NEW LICENSE PLATE STICKER STAY RAPT FOR UPDATES (Comment on this)
Monday, July 26th, 2004
1:46 am	if you rearrange the letters in livejournal a bit, it spells eviljournal just saying, is all. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
2:50 am	Game Over it went a little something like this: AGTvoodoo (1:02:44 PM): http://losangeles.dodgers.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/la/fan_forum/gagne_sweeps.jsp AGTvoodoo (1:02:48 PM): Game Over, dude * youaredj (1:03:01 PM): ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AGTvoodoo (1:03:14 PM): you should totally enter youaredj (1:03:39 PM): thank you, sarah youaredj (1:03:42 PM): i have found my calling. AGTvoodoo (1:04:20 PM): =P "=P" is right, Diaz. Yesterday, I was but an aimless chunk of turd floating down the river we call life. Today, I know why I am alive. No more staggering through the day bleary-eyed. I was put on this earth to win the Eric Gagne look-a-like contest. ONE GRAND PRIZE WINNER will recieve: • 4 Field Box Tickets and parking to a 2004 Dodgers regular season home game • Meet and greet with Eric Gagné • Autographed Gagné Jersey 5 Finalists will receive: • 4 Loge Level Tickets and parking to the Dodgers/Braves game on August 19, 2004 20 Semi-Finalists will receive: • Eric Gagné Gift Bag I shit in that gift bag. I am going for the whole she-bang. I am going to win this conest. I AM going to meet Eric Gagne. I AM going to get that autographed Eric Gagne Jersey. I and three friends WILL be enjoying that Dodgers regular season home game from the Field Box. There are a few problems. My beard is neither long nor wide enough. As well, it is a bit too red - gagne's is a darkish brown hue. These problems are things that can be solved with a few days of poor personal hygiene, for the most part - but the deadline is July 25. I am gonna keep daily updates on my website. Check OFTEN to see how things are coming along, and beard growth tips are ALWAYS welcome!!! * this is where I totally FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT and had an epiphany. Did you know that when you have an epiphany, you expel any inert body fluids? Why didn't you tell me?? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
12:24 pm	long beach So I am all moved into my new place in Long Beach. I quit the job at the arclight because that commute would have sucked. Otherwise, I am having a really, really good week. :) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 19th, 2004
2:27 am	Turn back the clock Today I actually started doing stuff at work. I saw Laura Prepon and Christopher MAsterson up close. Prepon had blonde hair and it really tall. MAsterson was wearing a hat, looked like a bum and was really little. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 18th, 2004
1:45 am	I saw Riddick after work tonight, it sucked. Last night I got kicked out of my band, Current Mood: predatory (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
12:18 am	Cleveland I just got back from a long weekend in Cleveland. I got to see almost everybody I Wanted to...Leiser, Joe, Botkin, Sam Gold Beth, Syb, Lindsey, Nar Nar. Unfortunately no trip to the ravine. The in flight movie was "My Boss' Daughter." It stunk like crap. So I slept thru most of the flight. Thursday night we went to Leiser's and watched adult swim. Leiser moved out to Warrensville Heights, which is...well it's the fucking ghetto. Friday we attempted to go to the flats but they sucked. I went with Nar NAr, BJ, Sam Gold and Botkin. We went to McNulty's and I saw some fuckers I hadn't seen in a long time. Saturday we went to parade on the square, then went to visit Pete's parents, then later on I drove the PT Cruiser to Leiser's and we played Friends trivia for several hours. Sunday night I took a really long nap, then I hung out with Beth and Syb. Syb drove me over to Leiser's yet a third time and we played with AA comics. Monday we went to the indians game, then me and Lindsey tried to visit Pete's grave. The cemetery had closed 15 minutes before we got there so we wandered around the perimeter looking for somewhere to climb out. It started raining really hard so we went back to Lindsey's and played UNO instead. Then we went out for Korean food for my dad's birthday. He is 51. Sam ran around the restaurant shouting "DADDY IS 51, DADDY IS 51!" We were sitting in that little "traditional" table where you sit on the ground and your legs dangle into a below ground pit. We were practicallythe only non-Asians in the whole restaurant, and we were the only ones sitting at the "traditional" table. After dinner I went to Botkin's cause his family was sitting shivah for his gramps. I went home early and tried unsuccessfully to make a midnight ravine run in the mud, but Leiser would have to part of it. I then tried unsuccessfully to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Tuesday I woke up at 6:30 eastern, then I slept on the plane. I slept from Indianapolis to Flagstaff. The movie was Dirty Dancing 2. I slept through it. When we got back we had lunch with Marc and Spank at Cinco De MAyo. Then I drove down to Manhattan Beach to return my digital camera. Then at 6 I had my first day of work. We just sat in a conference room and talked about how improtant leadership is. It was basically a gigantic waste of life, but I think this job might be kind of cool after all. well, that's been my week. I need to get to bed at a reasonable hour, so, that's all. Bye. Current Mood: listless Current Music: barbershop quartet (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
11:55 am	gratuitous update #1727 I stopped writing in Livejournal last november. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, November 17th, 2003
12:50 am	come see me play in my LA debut! if you're in the greater LA area, come to acoustic playhouse in weho, Monday night the 17th. it's on 7323 Santa Monica Blvd, 5 blocks west of la brea. Park at trader joe's. It starts at 8. My band is gonna be playing 3 songs. Be there or be quadrilateral. (Comment on this)
12:21 am	I got a job at USC, it starts December 15, woo hoo! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 28th, 2003
11:35 pm	This is so much easier than thinking of original copy Full Name: Daniel Jefferson Simons Birthday: December 10, 1979 Place Born: UNC Hospital, Chapel Hill, NC Current Residence: Mar Vista, Los Angeles, CA Parent(s): Mom and Dad Siblings and ages: Sam, 3, Joey, 19, Marc, 22 What Do You Look Like: jesus on steriods Favorite Animal: DAWG What's Your Favorite tv show: Simpsons Favorite Actor/Actress: Samuel L. Jackson Favorite Movies: Office Space, Big Lebowski, O Brother where art thou? ALL TIME favorite movie: Lebowski School: Ohio State State University (BA, 2002) Future School: UCLA maybe...Harvard? Future Job: wallet inspector Boyfriend/Girlfriend: not Best Buds: Bud Bundy, Bud Light, Bud Cort, Buddy Hackett Favorite Candy: Peach rings Hobbies: laziness, decadence, sports, music Things You Collect: scars Do You Have A Personal Phone Line: cel Favorite thing on/in you: the evil monkey living in my rectum Favorite Body Part Of The Opposite Sex: Lips and eyes Are you a dork?: well...yeah... Piercing(s) And Where: 2 in left ear, one in right, one in tongue, none are in What Do You Sleep in: depends on how fucking hot it is What Do You Think of Chain Letters: They are festering hemorrhoidal boils on the hairy, sweaty buttock that is society Words and Phrases You Over Use: uhh...what were we talking about? Who Was Your First Love: my mom Did He/She Love You?: yeah, except for that time she didn't buy me Optimus Prime for Channukkah. Fuck you, mom! Non-Sport Activity You Enjoy: bass guitar Dream Car: Canary yellow 1974 Ford Pinto Scariest Thing You've Ever Done: ate at Arby's Where Do You Shop?: the hardware store, the gas station, the bodega on the corner, target, office max, the grocery store... Coke or Pepsi: pepsi Favorite Thing To Wear?: hoodies, although living in LA I don't really get to wear them much anymore :( Favorite Food: tacos Favorite Color: dark blue Favorite Song: anything by Styx Favorite People To Talk To Online: You mean the internet can be used to FOSTER human interaction??? Root-Beer or Dr. Pepper: Root Beer Favorite Cheese: BIG Cheese Favorite Drink: White Russian Republican or Democrat: I really hate both of them. I'm going with Smurf. What is the most annoying trait a person can have?: always saying they are fat and they're really not. It's just like, shut up. Favorite Vacation Spot: new zealand Favorite Place to Play Frisbee: the zoo Favorite Family Member: my brothers, equally. Except Sammy gets points for being so damn cute!!! Did You Eat Paint Chips When You Were A Kid: pfff!! Anyone who says they remember eating paint chips, obviously did not eat paint chips. Favorite CD you own: they all got FOCKING STOLEN Person you hate: you When You Die, Do You Wanna Be Buried or Burned: ugh...I Want to be freeze-dried like Ted Williams Do You Believe In Aliens?: yes, there are some working at the car wash (rim shot!) If You Had The Chance To Professionally Do Something What Would You Do?: I Want to be one of those relief pitchers who is left-handed, and comes in to face the one left handed hitter, then leaves. Things You Obsess Over: smells Favorite Day of the Week: Humpday A Teacher You Hate: my Calc prof at GW Was annoying. He was Canadian, spoke in such a deep voice you couldn't hear him, and said actually "duh" frequently Favorite Disney Movie: Aladdin What is Your Favorite Season?: Summer What Toppings Do You Like On Your Pizza?: mushrooms Do You Like Your School Food: haha, don't have to eat it anymore If You Could Live Anywhere: Cleveland Heights Favorite Thing To Do On Weekends: sleep in, go to the park/beach, watch tv, party Favorite Thing To Get Clean: i love washing my windows while my car is filling up at the gas station. Favorite Magazine: I can't read Favorite Flower: venus fly trap Favorite Number(s): seven Favorite Ice Cream flavor(s): anything chewy Who Did You First Kiss?: a wax figure of Whoopi Goldberg at Madame Tussaud's Niagara Falls What's Your Most Embarrassing Moment?: Spending a night in a Fort Erie, ON prison for defiling an inanimate object If You Could Change One Thing About Yourself What Would It Be?: I wouldn't have so damn much savoir-faire! If you could undo a mistake, what would it be?: GRADY LITTLE SHOULD HAVE FUCKING YANKED PEDRO AFTER HE GAVE UP THE SINGLE TO POSADA! AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE? Do You Eat Breakfast First Then Brush Your Teeth or Brush Your Teeth Before You Eat?: both, but I'm an obsessive compulsive germophobe. Favorite Fictional Character: The Pope (rim shot #2!!!) Favorite Time of Day: about 3 in the afternoon in summer Can a Guy/girl be just good friends: if the guy is gay or they're both butt-ugly Do You Ask the Girl/Guy Out Or Do You Wait For Them To Come To You?: depends, usually ask though Do You Mind Paying For a Date?: No What's Most Important In Someone's Personality?: a sense of humor Do you have a pager or cell phone?: cel Who's More Important, Family or Friends?: family What Was the Best Gift You Ever Received?: pie Name a person that really gets on your nerves: carson daly How do you eat your Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?: I shove them in my fucking mouth and emulsify them until they are gone How long did it take for you to realize that Matt Tyler is the biggest stud in the world?: What the fuck are you talking about? Are you a righty or a lefty or ambidextrous?: bothy What's your favorite flavor Snapple: they still make that shit? Favorite board game: throw darts at the donkey What is your favorite holiday: boxing day What is your least favorite holiday: throw spears at the tubby redheaded jew day Favorite shampoo or conditioner: the cheap shit at the Circle K Persons who knows the most about you: the evil monkey living in my rectum Loudest person I know: that guy with the bullhorn who hangs out behind the dumpster at the Circle K Who do you like?: I hate people If you could go out with anyone in the world, who?: Dr. Phil Who was your first crush?: some girl in preschool, until she tried to stab me with those green plastic scissors. Then, it was true love. What do you remember most about this last year: today Memory (thing) you miss the most: remembering where I left my keys What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?: and you are...? why am I on this wall? why won't my arms move? where's buttercup?: I'm too busy "besting your Spaniard" to answer that shit, roberts Does it make you sad to know you can never go back in time?: no, for I CAN!!!!! If you could go back in time, would you?: yeah, I'd go back and kick Mr. Rogers' ass. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: probably still struggling in furthering my education. Future son's name?: Li'l DJ Future Daughter's name?: BeBe Where do you plan on building your Dream Home?: eh wherever the wind blows me. Describe your dream wedding: mesh shorts and a wife beater Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: yes, until the tranquilizer wore off and he mauled me within an inch of my life. Man, that was one pissed-off gerbil. If you could dye your hair one color: black What's on your walls in your room?: not much, I am too poor to buy wall adornments What type of deodorant do you use?: stank-be-gone Do you type with your fingers on the right keys?: fingers? What's under you're bed?: nothing, I have a box spring. But under that I hide the bodies. Have you ever been convicted of a crime?: no Are you a health freak?: not What's on your mouse pad?: a mouse How many rings before you answer the phone?: why is this stupid question on every questionnaire I have evr seen? Have you ever been attacked by a big dog?: no, but I've attacked my fair share. Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?: hell no Which do you prefer, mud wrestling or Jello?: mud, it's fun! (and nutritious!) Would you rather give or receive?: receive How many homes have you lived in?: christ...counting dorm rooms, damn near 15 Do you play any instruments?: guitar, bass guitar, harmonica, didgeridoo, piano...all pitifully, I might add Do you get along with your parents?: yes What's your bedtime?: whenever I the tranquilizer darts kick in Thunderstorms-scary or cool?: scary, yet sexy Roller Coasters-cool or scary?: scary, yet sexy Do you like to drive?: yes, especially when I'm going someplace sexy What's the first thing you'd do if you won the lottery?: select ten random people out of the phone book and give them each $100,000. Haha! gotcha. Just kidding, I'd spend it on crack. Chocolate or Vanilla cake?: chocolate Favorite Commercial: The one where the two hot chicks are making out Favorite Cereal: anything with a vampire on the box Something you'd like to try?: proper hygiene Place you'd visit again and again: unemployment office Your next road trip: phoenix or boulder, co Thing you couldn't live without: an environment abundant with oxygen Celebrity you want to kiss: Dr. Phil Boxers or Briefs: Boxers Favorite bra: hey, I'm very sensitive about my weight Croutons or Bacon Bits: bacon bits, because they're crunchier (ha!) Where do you most want to have sex: in the ass How many times a day do you brush your teeth: .75 Have you ever gone skinny dipping: yes Would you rather live in a log cabin or downtown?: downtown Pets: none really, Hidey and Maggi are my dogs though I guess What bones have you broken: pinkie, clavicle Stitches?: left arm, hernie operation Have you ever laughed so hard you peed your pants?: no, just shit myself a couple times Favorite perfume/cologne: bitch come runnin' How many foreign countries have you been to? 10 or so, Canada, Mexico, New Zealand, Australia, Israel, Switzerland, Germany, Holland, France, Lebanon, Egypt, Jordan, England, Czech Republic...whatever that is Favorite websites: porn What is great about college: ice cream for breakfast Will you wait until marriage: wait, like, for what? Pirates? If it could rain something other than rain for a day, what would you like it to be?: hot chicks What's your favorite fabric?: bare, sweaty ass Who is your favorite SNL member?: Will Ferrell Do you believe in ghosts?: yep Zodiac Sign: bullshit Favorite sesame street character: Popeye Muppet?: Gordon Do you love to dance?: not really Can you usually win a staring contest?: always Do you make fun of people: mercilessly (Comment on this)